Taking Time

Last night, we fulfilled our Christmas Gift to my husband's 82 year old grandmother.  She's such a sweet lady, still with a sharp mind but her body's still hanging in there.  She's 82 and she's not one of those super grandma's who took up body building or yoga in her later age.  She's the grandma who makes you cookies and hangs out with her quilting buddies.  Gravity has been taking her toll and although she thinks she's taller than my mother-in-law, like she had been at one point in her life, she is now quite a few inches shorter than her daughter.  

At 82, or 75, 79, or 84 like the rest of our grandma's who are all still alive, what the heck do you get them?  I once heard an older lady say under her breath after she opened a gift of a knick-knack from someone, "well, I guess I'll have to find a place in here to put this."  It wasn't in an upbeat, excited way.  It was an obligitory tone.  

And that is where I started my own gift giving theory.  Older people do not want THINGS.  They've had 50 or so years to figure out what they like and they get it themselves. Instead, they want TIME.  

They want you to call.  They want to tell you stories.  They want to enjoy your company and hear your stories.  They want to play with your children or animals.  They want to treat you or start giving you their things.  

They don't want things, but rather they want you to care enough about them to carve a few moments out of your day to give them a jingle, or as we did with grandma last night, they want to go to dinner with you.  She sat next to our 1 year old and enjoyed her jibber-jabber and enjoyed playing keep away from her swift hands, enjoyed the wonders of a toddler.  

How much more fulfilling is something like that than a snow-man decoration?  And so, the Grandmas all get some of our homemade jam or bacon or wine, perhaps some other consumables, and we give them TIME - breakfast out or lunch or supper.  For her birthday this year, we took Grandma to the farmers market and brunch. 

Each time we do this, my mother-in-law tells us for months about how much Grandma enjoys her gifts.  Because each day we get with each other truly is a gift.